*Clad in their traditional black suit, white shirt and tie, they march with a certain swagger, knowing that they could be on either side of a page and still flip the scripts to the whims and caprices of their client.

* Law is one of the most noble professions one can get involved with, and at the same time one of the dirtiest jobs you’ll ever find yourself, the decision is always with the practitioner, you can be a good or bad lawyer, just like good cop bad cop, it all depends on your orientation and personality.

Unfortunately, the quest for wealth has driven many lawyers into the dirty section of this noble profession and it seems this trend will not be coming to an end anytime soon as the proverbial love for money which is the root of all evil has spread these evil roots and tentacles deep in the heart of many lawyers.

This brings us to the bane of today, the 52 year old former protege of legal icon, Chief Gani Fawehinmi who has spent majority of his life and career on the wrong side of history and for all the wrong reasons too. Disguising behind the noble profession to lead a rather unenviable life, Festus Keyamo is one of the many reasons why Nigeria keeps regressing, a man without integrity.

Firstly, let us try to understand Keyamo and what went wrong along his career trajectory that makes him a public enemy to many Nigerians, especially the youths who make up 70% of the country’s population.

Humble Beginnings: Early Years as a Lawyer

Festus Keyamo was a bright prospect as a young lawyer, he was called to the Nigerian Bar in 1993 after graduating with a law degree from Ambrose Ali University at Ekpoma, in Edo state and would go on to serve in the chamber of the legal luminary, former presidential candidate and national icon, Chief Gani Fawehinmi for a short period before moving on to set up his personal chamber. His association with a figure who is considered a National Hero by many Nigerians would become a plot for a dramatic twist as he went from being a solid, principled and dexterous young lawyer to a greedy, selfish, insensitive and arrogant personality.

In this exposé we will look at his antecedents and follow through with how a lawyer without integrity operates, a blueprint on How NOT to be a good lawyer.

Our story begins in 2015 when Keyamo served as the lead prosecuting counsel to the Economic and Financial Crimes Commission (EFCC) in the corruption case against former Bayelsa State governor, Timipre Syla. Sometime in 2012, his chamber was contacted to take on the job of putting Mr Sylva behind bars for his alleged involvement in embezzlement of public funds and money laundering, an offer which Keyamo accepted swiftly. For 3 years, Mr Keyamo managed this case, he however abruptly withdrew from the case 3 days to the trial without categorically stating the reason(s) for his rather sudden decision. His decision reeked of dishonesty, double-dealing and incompetence, his refusal to state categorically the reason for his rash decision fueled a lot of speculation, one of which is that Keyamo allegedly received a large paycheck from Sylva’s camp to withdraw from the case after EFCC refused to settle outside the court. A case he had worked on for 3 long years and even had the defendant by the balls, he woke up one morning and decided he wasn’t going to nail the coffin, for absolutely no reason. He proceeded to inform the EFCC chairman through a letter dated Friday 22nd May 2015, that he was withdrawing his position as lead prosecuting counsel to the EFCC, he advised them to “find another lawyer”, the trial was only 3 days away, originally scheduled for Monday 25th May 2015. Today, Festus Keyamo and Timipre Sylva, both members of the APC, are ‘best of friends’. Talk about integrity.

A Monumental Failure

It is also worthy of note that Keyamo as lead prosecuting counsel to EFCC, a job he got by fraternizing with Farida Waziri then Chairperson of EFCC, led the anti-graft agency to prosecution in twenty-one high-profile corruption cases but managed to secure only one conviction; that is the case of PDP chieftain and former national vice-chairman, Chief Bode George. One of his many losses as the agency’s prosecuting counsel was the 2018 bribery case in which he represented a former costums officer who accused the Code of Conduct Tribunal (CCT) chairman, Justice Danladi Umar for soliciting and receiving bribe in order to throw away the case of false asset declaration leveled against the former costums officer. A case which was twice dismissed by the EFCC based on lack of evidence. In a twist of events, he would then collaborate with the then EFCC chairman, Ibrahim Magu who without authorization from the Attorney-General of the federation, file the same bribe case twice dismissed, against the CCT chairman. Of course the case didn’t go to trial.

Joins Politics, Becomes Part of Buhari’s Cabinet

Keyamo served as the spokesperson for the Buhari/Osinbajo re-election campaign in 2018 and after the victory he was nominated as a junior minister, a position he currently occupies and has grossly underperformed. In this position, he has been constantly and unnecessarily mouthy, always making controversial statements that further projects him as a public enemy. Keyamo claims to be a human rights activist, yet he has refused to quit his position in the cabinet which has recorded the highest rate of human rights violations in Nigeria’s democratic history. A recent independent study conducted by Reportera News revealed that Keyamo is Nigeria’s worst ever federal minister foor the last 70 years.

Senior Advocate of Nigeria Nonsense

In 2017, Keyamo was awarded the prestigious title of (SAN) Senior Advocate of Nigeria. Of course, as with every aspect of his principal Buhari’s regime, the consistency in rewarding incompetent people didn’t elude Keyamo as he was unmeritorously awarded the title after 8 failed attempts at securing the coveted phrase “Senior Advocate of Nigeria”. A title he readily  brandishes, “Festus Keyamo, (SAN)” could be seen on his Twitter page, as if it was deserved, he was only awarded this title because of his role in the economic and socio-political regression of Nigeria. Buhari rewards incompetence, it’s a well known fact.

Case with Apostle Johnson Suleman

In 2017, a Canada-based professional stripper, Stephanie Otobo dragged Edo state born fiery preacher, Apostle Johnson Suleman into a major scandal after claiming that she was involved in a heated romance with the preacher with the latter even promising to marry her. She sued the preacher for forcefull abortion and emotional damages after allegedly reneging on his promise to marry her, this gets interesting. To further expatiate, I’ll put this in plain text. An adult is suing another adult for convincing her to abort a pregnancy after having series of consensual unprotected sex. This same adult is also suing the adult, a married man, for reneging on his promise to marry her. Now, no reasonable lawyer of repute and in their right frame of mind takes up such a case riddled with baseless and meaningless accusations, moreso a SAN. Oh wait, there’s Festus Keyamo, who coincidentally is a ‘SAN’, oh well. The stripper would eventually confess to false allegations after she was arrested by law enforcement officers, she fingered Keyamo as the mastermind and ringleader of the scheme which was intended to extort money from the Auchi preacher. Apostle Suleman would later sue Keyamo for NGN1bn for defamation, the charges would later be dropped after Otobo’s public apology and Keyamo’s retraction.

Fraud Case: Swindles Pakistani Drug Lord of $400,000

Relationship With His Home-State Delta and Young Nigerians

Keyamo has always been a foul and selfish man even before joining politics, he doesn’t allign with anything that benefits his people, if you get his palms oiled and make his pocket deeper, he will defend the most ridiculous policies, damning all consequences. Never has Festus Keyamo sided with the people, people like him can’t get elected through the ballot and he knows this, the reason why he has never brought up any conversation about contesting in any election, he knows that he will lose woefully. Keyamo despite his position of influence and affluence has not engaged in projects to benefit his home state of Delta. No youth empowerment project, no women empowerment program, nothing! he’s just dedicated to enriching himself and distancing himself from anything that can benefit Nigerians. He is so unpopular in his state that an average Delta indigene doesn’t know who he is. In the 2022 presidential election, he lost his polling unit and ward Peter Obi’s Labour Party, a further testament to his lack of political influence in his homestead.

Marriage, Philandering & Gross Irresponsibility

Keyamo married his now ex-wife Isioma Irene in 2004, the marriage lasted barely 5 years before it imploded due to his grossly irresponsible lifestyle as alleged by his ex-wife. He filed for divorce citing irreparable damages as the reason to dissolve the marriage. It was in this divorce suit that his disgusting lifestyle was brought to the fore as his antecedents had frustrated his estranged wife into depression and severe psychological trauma which eventually led her to failure when she wrote her Nigeria Law School final exams. The former Mrs Keyamo detailed how he would rather spend lavishly chasing girls around Lagos sleeping with anything under a skirt but would renege on his commitment to provide enough on the domestic front for her and their children, she alleged that he was a very insensitive and stingy man when it came to providing for his family. In Mr Keyamo’s petition for the dissolution of the marriage, one of the reasons he highlighted was the ex-wife’s inability to cook, this is in addition to her ill-temper and foul-mouth, as alleged. But of course, you can’t be a chronic cheat and expect your wife to applaud you, it’s like spanking a child and telling them not to cry, it’s just impossible. Only an unstable man wakes up one day to file for divorce on the grounds that his wife of over 5 years can not cook, it’s laughable at best, well, Mr Keyamo isn’t stable, apparently.

On 2nd October 2009, Vanguard Newspapers  reported how Keyamo threw his wife and kids out of their matrimonial home in very torrid conditions and left them at the mercy of the streets. Chima Ugboji of Daily Champion obtained court documents in October 2009 which indicated that Keyamo had abandoned his family and refused to provide financial upkeep for his children’s welfare for 2 years, as alleged by the ex-wife. Their children were 5 and 2 years old at the time, such a heartless monster.

Nigerians should therefore not be bewildered at Mr Keyamo’s controversial life and consistent contributions to the regression of their country, a man who failed to manage his family due to his insensitivity will obviously not give a hoot about what ordinary, everyday people who have no blood relationship with him, think of him. What really should we expect of a man who chased his wife and kids away from their home and abandoned them for 2 years, his insensitivity knows no bounds.