Politics

The Tale of Three Pilots and a Plane; A Satirical Analogy of Nigeria’s 2023 Presidential Election

Published

on

A plane I boarded made an emergency landing at an abandoned airstrip after the pilot indicated that he was actually unfit to fly the plane, a commercial plane.

He then asked if there was any pilot or anyone with reasonable flight experience on board, three men raised their hands. The pilot then made us (the passengers) choose from the three men but first it was required that they speak and show proof of their license to fly a plane of that capacity.

The first man stood up. He presented his license and certifications as a commercial pilot of a smaller plane.
He told us how he flew a commercial plane for 8 years and how he was able to navigate the heavy turbulence he frequently encountered mid-air. He showed us a workable plan on how he intended to fly us to our desired destination. He took a bow and sat, we applauded.

It was now time for the second man to speak. He managed to stand with the assistance of his friends who also boarded. We immediately protested and made it clear to him that he apparently was unwell and so couldn’t be allowed to fly the plane, his friends fought back.

Whilst his friends were arguing with us on why he should be allowed to fly, the man kept muttering “it’s my turn”, we decided to give him a benefit of doubt and finally allowed him to speak. We asked him, “your turn to do what?”.

He responded, “it’s my turn to fly this plane”. All the passengers were seemingly speechless, totally gobsmacked.

He then went on to brag about how he helped the current pilot become the pilot of this plane despite not being qualified for the position. He reiterated that it was indeed now his turn to fly the plane.

We asked him to show his licences before we could proceed. It turned out to be that the man had flown another plane in the past which he verily mismanaged and was currently in a terrible condition, we also discovered that the man had been stealing the plane’s maintenance fund.

We demanded explanations to these discoveries but his friends on the plane fought back. They told us that all these discoveries didn’t matter and that the only agenda now was to ensure that he flies the plane, to which we firmly rejected, a war of words ensued.

It was in this heated argument that the third man who had already been forgotten stood up and yelled that he should be allowed to speak. We then asked him to present his qualifications. He presented his license but had in fact never flown a plane as he was only a co-pilot.

We also discovered that as a co-pilot for 8 years, he was known for syphoning the plane’s maintenance funds and had built an empire out of it, just like the second man. We outrightly rejected him and made it clear that we didn’t want what happened to his former plane happen to ours.

It was now time to make a choice. The first man reiterated his commitment to fly the plane diligently to our destination. The second man re-emphasized that it was his turn to fly the plane and nothing would stop him despite his illness and negative precedents that trailed him, he went ahead to instigate some passengers to chose him over the other two on the basis that they shared a common ethnicity.

Some of the passengers who shared the same ethnicity fell for the sentiment, but majority of them stood their ground and insisted that he was not fit to fly the plane. At this point, most of us had already pitched our tent with the person we saw as the most qualified.

The second man’s friends decided to make up stories to ruin the first man’s reputation, but we didn’t take their word for it, we did our research, verified and found that all the allegations were false and that indeed, the first man is truly who he says he is; a man of integrity. The third man who we had forgotten, again, yelled out.

“I am still here”, he shouted, this got our attention and even though we didn’t really want him to speak anymore because we had practically made up our minds, he went ahead to quote a copied strategy which he even found difficult to interpreted.

He didn’t particularly have any strategy so he decided to induce the passengers by bribing them with wads of dollar bills, some really hungry ones collected the money and decided to support him, they were only a few however, an insignificant figure.

The second man continued his entitled demand of reiterating that it was his turn. At this point, his friends who were also crooks alike decided not to tell the passengers why their man was in the best position to fly the plane, they focused on trying to ridicule the first man.

The first man however didn’t let any of their moves affect him as he focused on educating the passengers on why he was the best, he even went from seat to seat to engage everyone, he didn’t discriminate.

In a short while, it became apparent to all of the passengers who the best amongst the three was, even though some were still in denial because of their loyalty to the other pilots.

A former pilot of the plane would eventually phone in to inform the passengers that the first man was in fact the man with the capacity to navigate the plane amidst the expected turbulence and that we should get him into the cockpit immediately.

Who do you think is the best fit to fly the plane?

Who would eventually fly the plane?

I guess we’d wait till February 2023 to find out.

Trending

Exit mobile version